I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
