im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize
