i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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