He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
