Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize