The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
