she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
