In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
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I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
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If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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