That's intense
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
