i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
