Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
