So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
