"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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