Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
