There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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