If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
