Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
