i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
