Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize