I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
