Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
