She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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