ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
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I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
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so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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