Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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