seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
