And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
he high fived his dick after we had sex
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
