Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
