So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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