I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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