please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
