I could have mohawked her pubes.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
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I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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