so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
