Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
