i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
