Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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