Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize