do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
