I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
home. puking in laundry basket.
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Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
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