I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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