i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
People in love make me want to vomit
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize