He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
