my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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