i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
