I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We talked him into tasing himself.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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