It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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