every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
