Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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