No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I believe in your delicious
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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