I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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