Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
