he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
