He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
