I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize