I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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