You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
