Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Is Oprah even human
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
