why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
