That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
