I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex