I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
