I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm like, not good at living.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
