it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
