Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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