i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
