Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i dont even know how to be here
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
