I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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