thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
