My hand turned me down
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
